


A Rather Innocent Friendship

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-26
Updated: 2011-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-19 14:20:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12411963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: And we all thought the Ministry had it bad with gossip. But did you hear what happened at the Prophet? Lily Evans' deal was simple: shag Potter in exchange for her dream career. Easy, right? Not if you fall in love with him with everyone watching. A parody of the games of seduction. AU.





	A Rather Innocent Friendship

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**A Rather Innocent Friendship**

* * *

Total AU. Merely asked myself, "What _didn't_ happen in Harry Potter?"

Storyline: A comedic drama in which the Lily Evans settle in a non-healthy game of seduction and journey to rise to the top. Where the  _Prophet_ gets more action than the Ministry. Where Evans gets less action than Filch. When her best friend Sirius Black scores her an exclusive spot at the paper, Lily Evans thought her life was finally in full action. But the feeling quickly sinks when she learns her supervisor is none other than the seducible James Potter. Now with a full plan to seduce the man in trade for her rise to the top, can she stop herself from actually falling for him?

_Chapter One: A Rather Sirius Engagement_

For James, it all started on a dare.

He was fifteen years old at the time when his best friend Regulus Black first dared him to the game of seduction.

His mission was easy, simple in fact. But he didn't know why his nerves acted on such impulses.

All he had to do was to purely tell Marlene McKinnon how nice she looked that day.

And with her wavy, gold locks and perfect white smile, there would be no problem, right?

He found the situation quite stupid and ended up laughing to himself at how utterly ridiculous this dare was.

He took advantage of that stupidity. And what was meant to be a polite and cheerful "Hey, you look stunning today," turned out to be a low and (attempting) husky "Has anyone ever told you... that you have the  _most_   _beautiful_  eyes I have ever seen? They remind me... of my mother's crystal vases. So pure and innocent."

And  _that_ , to his amusement and Regulus Black's astonishment, was enough to make the older Marlene McKinnon swooning. Craving. Begging, even, for a date with James Potter.

Regarding the fact that his voice hadn't even cracked despite his 'low and husky' approach, Marlene McKinnon did not mind... for in other girls' eyes, her arm candy consisted of a toned and well-spoken Chaser.

And that, that was the beginning of the infamous James Potter legacy.

As he grew older, he realized what triggered these nonsensical, yet lady-loving lines was his nerves. The more absurd he found the situation, the more absurd his messages and flirtatious comments. Which led to the more absurd women shining his shoes.

However, as the saying goes, with age comes maturity.

But,

not for him. He did gain knowledge though! He managed to somehow score perfect OWL's and NEWT's excelling in Arithmancy.

Fresh out of Hogwarts, he immediately enlisted as a Fiscal Reporter for the  _Daily Prophet_. And from there, he continued his most prattish of ways. Enriching himself in a lady's finest sheets. Appealing a woman to the most exclusive of Firewhiskey. Even improving his careful wordings of seduction.

In most womens' (and even mens') eyes, James Potter was the man.  _THE_ man.

But to one fiery lady, he was still the prattish childhood neighbor, eating worms for supper and dirt for dessert.

~/~

Now.

Our story doesn't start with the ever-so-sexy James Potter, but the ever-so-attractive lady that watched him lick dirt, which he later on traded in life and preferred to lick- ... something else.

Anyway. No, our story doesn't start there, for if it did, this pretty much wouldn't be a story and I'd be wearily recounting the same action James Potter did every night with a different woman. Not a story indeed!

This starts on the first morning of September.

When Lily Evans was younger, the first day of September was to utterly  _die_  for, in its most exaggerated form. It was the day she'd return to her beloved home of Hogwarts.

But now, at the blossoming age of twenty-three, September 1, 1983, marked a new date for the history books. It was her first day working at the  _Daily Prophet_!

The night her cousin Sirius informed her his boss had hired the redhead as a traveling correspondent, a job labeled as her first stepping stone, Lily immediately promised to herself she'd take the position most seriously. After all, it was her dream to be the International PR, and the position as one of the lucky traveling correspondents would make her a likely candidate for her respective wish.

With a modest knee-length skirt and a striped Oxford ensemble, Lily threw on her darkest pair of heels and quickly dashed out the door not before almost slipping on the corner of the doormat.

She regained her balance and had a sudden urge to thank Merlin that Sirius had trained her how to properly walk in heels.

However, this had occurred when they were ten and had been locked in the memory vault for  _no one_  to find out. Yet, these days, the only heels Sirius bought came from his  _wife's_  request. The lovely, and not-so-innocent, Hestia Jones.

"Well, well, well. Look what the dog dragged in!"

Speak of the devil.

Lily grinned as her eyes set on the shaggy-haired and handsome face of Sirius Black. He held two warm cups of coffee in his hands. He wore a freshly pressed black dragon-skinned jacket and a pair of dark matching slacks.

"You ready, Lils?" he let out a steady breath smelling of coffee as the redhead took a sip of her drink.

Her eyes shined brightly. "Ready as I'll ever be!"

The route to the paper's headquarters was not long, as Diagon Alley lay only a mere half-mile from Lily's apartment. The two cousins preferred walking however, as opposed to disapparation.

With Sirius' new married life underway, the lady and her dog only saw mere glimpses of each other throughout the weeks. Now, as they both shared the same boss, things were to be different.

"So, how's the boss like?" Lily began, making small talk as her steps coordinated with his. "I know who he is and all-- but is he nice? Does he laugh? Is he funny?"

Sirius let out a low chuckle. "And not one question regards if  _the_ Mr. Tom Riddle is serious about his work."

He stopped her before she could make the too pitiful 'Are you serious/sirus?' joke.

"But he's a downright devil if you ask me," Sirius' expression changed from bliss to bitterness. "I don't know how Bella can stand him, really. I mean when we were married, she was at least  _partially_  enjoyable to be around, and now she follows him like her soul is a part of him or something!"

Lily snorted as she remembered her previous encounter with the dark yet beautiful Bellatrix. "What a she-devil. Can't understand why you married her in the first place."

"Because, our parents forced us to marry for the bloodline, remember?" A low growl came from him. "Enough talk about my ex-wife. I'm hear to pep-talk and prepare your meeting the boss!"

The redhead fiercely nodded. "Right!" She would take this job as seriously as she could! New challenges, new faces, a new journey-- she was ready. Nothing, and absolutely  _nothing_  would stop her.

"Oh, I forgot to mention, James Potter's working in the cubicle next to yours.  _Great_  chap, eh?" he snickered, elbowing her jokingly.

And just like that, all contents of black coffee formerly in her mouth spilt on the Black, dressed in black, man beside her. Instead of harassing her with insults, Sirius merely chuckled. "If you were this excited to see him, I would have taken you to see him sooner."

"P-P-Potter is going to be there? Since when does Potter work there? A-a-and what do you mean 'cubicle next to mine'?"

"Easy there, Quirrell."

"Who?"

"Oh, nevermind. Just a bloke we take the mickey out of who works in the copying department with a stuttering problem," Sirius neatly shook his locks before answering his cousin's question and instantly dried himself with his want. "I'm surprised no one's told you though. James was offered the job as the Head Fiscal Reporter of the  _Prophet._ Damn smart that man. Regulus let it slip he's changed his ways since Hogwarts."

Lily scoffed to Sirius' knowing. "Yes, I know. My reaction as well. I've already had a chat with my  _dearest_ brother and informed him if his best friend decides to so much as attempt to score on your Quidditch field that he'd be meeting with me and end up having no Quidditch pitch to score with."

Before she could even ask exactly what in the hell he had just said, Lily stopped her pace as the two were now inches away from the Leaky Cauldron.

"By the way, we're having celebratory drinks here tonight on your behalf," Sirius winked, leading his cousin through the pub's entrance. "And don't say no! Hestia's already invited everyone."

"Oh, Sirius, you shouldn't have!" Lily beamed, ecstatically thinking it'd be the perfect end to her 'ever-so-perfect' day. The pair walked through the lifeless morning pub and into the backdoor that led all to Diagon Alley. With the tap of his wand, Sirius led the two into the hustling and cheerful streets of the infamous shopping complex.

For a moment, all nerves of starting a new job vanished as Lily watched greedy children choosing owls over cats and Flamebolts over Cleansweeps. Around her, a mother panicked the second she thought she lost her child in the crowd only to grin when she found the child's face permanently attached to the window of Flourish & Blotts.

"What's going on in there?" Lily curiously pointed to the immensely growing crowd looking into the bookstore's window.

"I overheard the ladies gossiping at work that Amos Diggory is having a book signing this morning!" Sirius chatted animatedly like a young, teenage girl.

Lily rolled her eyes.  _Amos Diggory_. There was no bigger of an arrogant prat than he. Even bigger than James Potter.

Also, he was Lily's ex.

"Oh, stop thinking about it!" warned Sirius. "I know you! Just forget about the conceited worm and move on."

He swung a shoulder around the astonished Lily as they entered the  _Prophet_  headquarters. "You see, that's the problem with you love. One bad break-up and then BOOM, you hate every known male specie."

Before Lily could even reply, an amused male voice chuckled deep-heartedly behind them. "Well, that Miss Evans, is a damn shame."

And in that moment came Lily Evan's first mistake. She recognized that voice. That same voice that tortured women's dreams and continuous sleep. With broad shoulders, messy hair, and a warm smile that could turn anyone's day upside down..

Turning around with an unbeatable smirk on her face, she locked eyes with the infamous James Potter. Hazel and Green. Pride and Prejudice. Prude and Player. Smirk and... a genuine smile?

"Pity," she mocked, pursing her lips. And with one last stride, she ignored James' impressed reaction and Sirius wide-eyed agape.

He followed her briskly down the hallways. "Do you even know where you're going?" he hissed, taking her arm and leading her into another hallway.

"What the  _hell_  was that?" Sirius hissed again once they were out of earshot. She noted he had led them into his office.

Lily waved her hair back in an unLily-like manner. "I can't stand him!" she scoffed. "If he thinks he can treat me like any other old slag, then he sure as  _hell_  doesn't know who Lily Evans is!"

Sirius groaned, smacking his head with a hand. "No. No, no, no, no, NO! If James Potter wants a night with Lily Evans, then you better give him a damn night with Lily Evans!"

Her green eyes became twice the size of Galleons. She couldn't believe what she was hearing! Did Sirius seriously just say that!

The older man caught onto her puzzled and somewhat horrific reaction. His cheeks flushed-- of course, how could he forget! He cleared his throat, ready for her reaction. "Um..I guess I forgot to tell you you'll be working under James' eye as well, and he could be the answer to your prayers regarding the position you wanted as International PR?"

" _What_?" she shrieked. He immediately put a finger to his lips ordering her silence.

"What exactly do you mean by 'the answer to my prayers', Sirius?" She whispered in a harsh voice. Her eyes narrowed dangerously as her older cousin gulped. And her reaction was the exact reason why Sirius didn't tell her in the first place.

"Listen, Lils. I didn't tell you this because I knew you would have declined the job--"

"--I would not have done such a thing!"

"--with James being your head supervisor, you would have ran away from the first mention of  _Prophet_!"

And when the words settled into her brain that she would be working under the infamous prat, she immediately shut up. Her mouth opened and closed as green eyes turned (Sirius could've sworn) a shade darker and fierce.

"YOU!" She pointed threateningly at Sirius. Despite the fact that he was a good twelve inches taller than her five foot two, the grown man cowered away worriedly. "You said I'd be working directly under  _you_! You lied to me! You have explaining to do, Sirius Black!"

Sirius immediately pulled out of her grasp and quickly shut his office door as to not be heard. "Okay, just listen, Lils. I've got a plan. You know me, I've always got a plan right?" He laughed humorously to himself reasonably.

"Just get on with it, Black."

The lady was not amused, not in the least bit. And as Sirius settled himself into this leather-bound chair across from her, he wondered if he had concocted a brilliant, but deviant plan.

"Okay, look. Here me out. You want the position as Head International PR, right? And like I said, James Potter is your supervisor."

She quirked an eyebrow. "I believe we've already established that."

A mischievous twinkle settled in Sirius' eyes. "Just listen, would you? Riddle may act as the head honcho here at the paper, but he isn't  _the_ boss."

Lily knew of the story of Riddle's infamous climb to Junior Editor at the young age of twenty-one. Yet, twenty years later, he'd been the oldest Junior Editor the paper had ever seen!

"Riddle's been after the job as Editor-in-Chief for years, but there's no way he's going to be able to dethrone Mr. Dumbledore. Riddle doesn't deserve it! Treats everyone here like total scum!"

"Yes, I know, but how does this apply to Potter again?"

"Right," Sirius began again, rubbing his palms readily. "Well, the publishing company that produces the  _Prophet_  is owned by one Mr. Edward Potter--"

"--right. And that's how Potter got the job as Head Fiscal," Lily smugly added crossing her arms in victory.

"No! You daft girl! We've already established that James worked for his position. Harder than others, actually. I told you, he's changed his ways since Hogwarts, but that doesn't mean he's not up for the occasional shag here and there. And  _that_ , my dear, is where you come in, " Sirius winked, leaning back in his chair.

"Me?" Lily was appalled. "You want me to shag James Potter? What, no. Me? Ew! That's terribly ghastly! EW!"

He ignored her childish antics. "Don't you see? If you can get Potter to fall for you, your climb to being the Head International PR will be--" he snapped his fingers. "--as quick as that. And this favors your side, too. I've heard rumors that James does in fact prefer his redheads. Likes 'em feisty," Sirius snorted amused.

"So basically you're telling me... that you want _me_... to seduce James Potter... so I can get my dream job?" Lily asked, putting the pieces together in her head.

"YES! That's exactly it! So glad we're on the same page! If James even as much puts a word into his father of how 'intelligent and sexy you are', Edward will no doubt look into his son's suggestion. He can put you at the top--" he snapped again, "--like that."

Sirius nodded his head knowingly. By now, his features mimicked that of a pure genius who looked as if they had just solved the cure for the Cruciatus Curse. He waited patiently for Lily's answer.

"Sirius-- wow. That is the most  _ridiculous_  plan I have ever heard! I am appalled! I can't believe you think me to be a girl as low as that!" Lily shrieked, her eyes masking precise horror.

"C'mon! It'll be good for you!"

"How the hell is that good for me? You want me to shag a man just so I can get what I want!"

"Your sister did it!"

" _And that's why she's going to hell!"_

Sirius took in a deep breath, dramatically shaking his head. The ten minutes he'd put thought into the plan gone completely to waste. "Lils--fine. Fine if you don't want to do it. I was merely suggesting something that'd be good for your well-being. You deserve this, Lils; you really do," he glanced up into her eyes, sympathetically. "All that hard work. I just want something good for you."

Lily groaned inwardly as her outsides reacted oppositely. With a look like that, how could you just say no? Yet she remained firm.

When his cousin didn't oblige, Sirius continued releasing a breath. "See, this is why I didn't tell you James was your supervisor in the first place. Actually, I'm surprised Bella didn't tell you when she interviewed you. Actually, no. She's a damn bitch, no wonder she didn't--"

"--eh, Sirius!"

"Right, sorry. But listen, I know I didn't tell you what you should have known, but I would have never suggested anything that might be beneficial to you later on. And yes, my plan may have been a tad crazy--"

"--more like sexually disturbing."

"--but that's not the point. I wouldn't have gone as far as suggesting this traveling correspondent position for you if I thought you couldn't do it. And I know you're working under James, but please Lily, just give the man a chance. He's changed since Hogwarts, trust me. I've watched him with my own eyes," Sirius swore with true eyes as he raised a hand. "He is quite smart and fully qualified for his position. He knows how to lead a team skillfully and with the travel and business department under his wing, the paper's success has gone up quite a bit."

Sirius watched her with caring eyes and for a brief second, Lily almost gave in to his ridiculous plan. She cursed his natured gift of persuasion mentally, as she let out a sigh. The two never broke eye contact. One purposely working his magic of influence through puppy dog eyes, and the other careful to not let her walls down.

"Okay, I give up. Off to work now!" He stood up with Lily following her in pursuit. "Listen, little cousin, today's your first day. Just take it easy, you know. Smile politely if James offers you a compliment. Nod if he asks you to say something. But stand your ground if you disagree with his propositions, alright?"

He led a genuinely-smiling Lily out of his office. "I'll see you later at the Leaky then for drinks?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Lilykins," Sirius winked.

As Lily waltzed through hallways and staircases that separated her cubicle from Sirius' office, she smiled noting that out of the two pieces of advice Sirius had given, that the latter was the best she'd heard all morning.

But it wouldn't be the advice she'd be following... at least only for now.   
**  
**


End file.
